Where is the hickey?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
