ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I haven't been this sober since birth.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
