NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
