wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
