i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
