So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
