I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I wish I only lived at night.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
