Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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