we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
