Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
