They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
