I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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