I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
