Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
