Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
