she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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