it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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