Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
