You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
