What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
my poor anus
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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