my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
