i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
