Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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