he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
