Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she smelled like a LAN party
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
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