Duck Duck Cougar?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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