now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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