Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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