So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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