Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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