I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
