No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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