Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
