My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
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