pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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