i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I intend to get homeless drunk
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
