i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
