she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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