I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
