oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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