We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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