what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
We need to get me chipped asap
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