hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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