We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
