stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
