Whoa Z and x make the same sound
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
