i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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