Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
