I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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