You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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